About the Author
Carla Fernandez is the cofounder of The Dinner Party, a national network of peer-support circles for young adult grievers, featured in The New York Times, NPR, Oprah Daily, and cited in multiple books. Her work focuses on how circles come together to foster collective care and change culture when a new status quo is called for. Fernandez has led grief-readiness trainings and workshops for teams inside organizations including government agencies, hospital networks, and educators, to ensure employers are prepared to support grief not if, but when it impacts their teams.
In addition to her work in grief, Fernandez partners with a range of clients through her community design studio as an impact strategist and facilitator, particularly on initiatives related to climate change, democracy, and the arts. Her clients are global foundations, innovation labs, federal agencies, and progressive philanthropists working on the cutting edge of social change.
Her new book Renegade Grief, is a profound and vulnerable exploration of care practices and rituals that empower grievers in a culture that expects us to simply “give it time.” Shaped by her own experience with the death of her father and her time cofounding The Dinner Party, Fernandez pushes back on the death-denying culture we live in. For too long, grief has been treated as something pitiable, simply sad, to be gotten over as soon as possible, but after fifteen years of being in a community with fellow grievers, she has witnessed a different side of the story.
Renegade Grief is an indispensable resource for people at any stage of the grieving process and with Fernandez’s candid and compassionate guidance, you learn that life after loss isn’t about the futile attempt of arriving at some other side. Rather, it’s about building your community, adjusting to change, and finding the way for your grief to become a pathway into your own version of a soulful life.
Fernandez was named one of LA Weekly’s most interesting people of Los Angeles, and was featured in Oprah Magazine as a woman who “saw a need and rose to the occasion.” She is a senior fellow with USC’s Annenberg School Innovation Lab and a Catherine B. Reynolds Foundation Scholar in Social Entrepreneurship at NYU. She divides her time between the Hudson Valley and Joshua Tree.
Raves and Reviews
Carla Fernandez and The Dinner Party have been leading a quiet revolution for decades, borne of the tender insight that we must walk with, share, and metabolize grief and loss if we want to be healed and whole. Yet we do not know how to grieve in this society, and we leave ourselves and others isolated and floundering with loss. In a world awash in pain, and increasingly defined by so much change and so many forms of loss, we need to know what she has been presciently learning on behalf of us all. This book is an offering to the struggle and art of being human, an essential tool for inhabiting this time in the life of the world.”
—Krista Tippett, New York Times bestselling author and Peabody Award winning host of the Onbeing Podcast
An incisive, warm, inviting, illuminating and boldly practical guide for the grieving heart. These stories and tools offer a way forward and deeper understanding as life evolves after loss.”
—Tembi Locke, New York Times bestselling author of From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding HomeA wonderfully relatable, insightful manual for how to live *into* grief–rather than run away from it. Filled with ritual inspiration and practical advice, Fernandez has written a book to nourish your soul.”
—Casper Ter Kuile, author of The Power Ritual
Who knew that grief was something we all need to practice? This book is an essential guide. I laughed, I cried, I entered a whole new reality.”
—Ann Friedman, New York Times bestselling co-author of Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close
Renegade Grief was an answer to a prayer I didn’t have the words for yet. Like water, this book poured itself into the wounds of grief I carried and unearthed countless pathways of holding both the sensitivity and profound sorrow that can arise from losing someone you love. Carla’s ability to gently yet powerfully guide the reader through one of the most turbulent landscapes any of us will face is astonishing. Each page cradles your sorrow like a beloved friend, whispering truths that feel both ancient and intimately yours. Renegade Grief does not rush the healing process, nor demand your joy before its time—it simply walks beside you as a companion through it all. This is not just a book; it is a sacred space where tears can fall freely and hope, like dawn, can begin to bloom again.”
—A. Helwa, international bestselling author of Secrets of Divine Love: A Spiritual Journey into the Heart of IslamCarla Fernandez has penned a kind, honest, nuanced, knowing, practical guide and permission slip to bring grief back into its rightful place in modern life.”
—Priya Parker, author of The Art of GatheringWith clear eyes and a full heart, Carla Fernandez is a deft and treasured guide through what doesn’t have to be an isolating experience.”
—iO Tillett Wright, Author of Darling Days
In the Media
“‘Like therapy, but better’: The holiday dinner party that makes space for grief”
“Grief In The Workplace: Why Addressing Loss Can Be Good For Culture”
“How Dungeons & Dragons helped my siblings and me grieve our father’s death”
“The Dinner Party Group That Encourages People to Talk About Their Grief”
“Will the ad industry’s new Sheryl Sandberg-backed award go far enough on gender equality?”
“Carla Fernandez Created a Dinner Circuit for Millennials Who Lost Their Parents Young”
